When I started today I had to make a decision. I had to decide whether or not I would rejoice and be glad in it. Most days a conscious decision to rejoice and be glad is not necessary. Most days I just wake up with a praise and a great expectation. Today was different.
This morning I woke up having to fight the darkness of dread. Do you know what that is? It’s the foreboding feeling that you are about to encounter something else. In addition, to what you are already dealing with you, more is on the way. It must be what a boxer feels like at the 12th round when his legs are tired and his arms are heavy and he hears the sound of the bell, while he is still trying to catch his breath. He has to return to the ring. He is confident he will win. He knows however in order to win he will have to keep fighting. This is dread!
I woke up this morning not wanting to face nor fight one more misunderstanding or any misinformation. My prayer this morning was weighted down and made wet with tears of disappointment. I started my day praying that the Lord would not ring the bell. I just want the Lord to let me catch my breath.
The psalmist was trying to catch his breath. “He says, As the deer panteth for the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee” (Psalm 42:1). A deer woke every morning knowing that something wanted to devour it. The deer panted for the water brooks because the deer spent its days under threat. The deer was being stalked and chased by its enemies. Predators were the constant threat of deer. Arriving to the water brooks would refresh the deer and give him strength for the day.
The psalmist of Psalm 42 found himself out of himself. The psalmist is a positive person. He is a praise and worship leader. He spends his days rejoicing and being glad. But on this particular day the psalmist goes to bed and wakes with tears. He says, “My tears have been my meat day and night”. He feels like he is moving through this season without support. He says, “They continually say unto me, Where is thy God?”. His very life, his anointing and calling are under attack. He hears people counting him out. His obituary is being written by his haters. People are questioning his relationship with God.
So he gets up and goes to church! “I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise”. He woke up with tears and then remembered that every time he was in dire straits and was feeling dread, going to church made it better. He got around some people that were positive and full of praise. They were people with spiritual discipline. They “kept holy day”. These are the people that God will use to bring you through your days of dread.
He changed his mind in the morning. He decided to rejoice and be glad in it. He asks himself, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul. why art thou disquieted in me?” He almost seems surprised that he has allowed his soul to be brought under his circumstances. It is as if he wonders about what part of himself could be weakened to the point of this depression. He shakes himself with his own questions and faces his pain with a prescription.
He says, “Hope thou in God..”. Trust God for the conclusion. Trust God that even in this He will be glorified. Trust God to bring you through this season in victory. Trust God to work it out for your good. Trust God to sustain you when you are empty. Trust God to finish what He has begun. Trust God to protect you in the midst of it all!
I woke up this morning. That is the best news I have had all day. If the Lord is kind enough to give me another day, I can rejoice and be glad in it !
I confess with the psalmist, “Yet the LORD will command His lovingkindness in the day time and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life”. The LORD is the God of my life. He cares about the life I have. He is involved in my life and has a purpose for it! I rejoice! I am glad!